Anxious and Antsy

That should be my name today. It is going to be a long day. I can't stand not being there. I just can't. I can't stand not being THE person. When did I become that person? I don't know, but I've just come to the realization that is the exact reason why days like today drive me out of my freaking head.
I'm SUPPOSED to be there. Not for ME, for them. To do things, to be a shoulder, a bitch, a gopher, a pillow, a punching bag...gosh whatever. SOMETHING.
Not just an anxious freaky mess 5 thousand miles away. I actually wish I had a tail today because at least I could give myself some purpose. I'd be better off running in circles chasing my tail. I'm not a sitter by'er and watcher. I'm a doer, a there'er, a something. Not a waiting nail biter.
All senses on high alert, wound up tighter than an eight day clock. I wait. I watch. I refresh my facebook page 9874 times. I was not able to do the one thing I felt strongly compelled to do today, but hopefully I can make that happen on Friday. I DID buy a gift today. I should go to the post office then and mail it... that would be doing something. Yes, jittering my way through the line at the post office with my package, well...let's see just how fast I get tossed in jail for appearing suspicious?
I did not do the gym today b/c Cody was NOT up to school so I didn't want to get in there and not get his call if he was having a cow to come home. I wish I were better at running, it'd be a damn good day to run till I puke. Oscar sure wouldn't mind either, she looks like she's been contemplating chewing my foot off in my sleep for not taking her for walks or to the field since we took her away from her giant backyard. She just whines and gives me the evil eye.
Well, all that said, yammering on my blog about not much of anything isn't really working either. Today would be a good day to visit another nearby country....oh yeah, it sure would.

Alas, please keep your prayer lines open and keep them coming, I sincerely believe in them. Love to all and if you don't have the Emma Updates, well...I'll update anyway because I have nothing else of any importance to do right now beyond waiting..... if patience is a virtue well, I never claimed to be very virtuous anyway did I?

uuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!