-isms

As in, kid-isms.

I need to make sure I do this stuff more regularly, randomly. I do remember a few, but I"m sure I forget some of the classics as well.

Cody-ism.
In the car, driving him to school. The sun was actually out for once.
Cody: "MOM!!! LOOK! Look at the SUN! It's following us!!!"
Me: *smile* "Well, buddy you are right it sure is! That means we have good luck if we're followed by sunshine!"
Cody: "Well, I like good luck."
That afternoon in the car going away from school.
Cody: "Mommy LOOK! We have good luck AGAIN!!!"
Me: "Huh??"
Cody: "The sun is following us again! We have good luck again Mommy!!!"
8o)
Now doesn't that just make you smile?

Just this morning, Cody is watching Scooby Doo, his new obsession, while eating his breakfast. Wow, how awesome has it turned out to be to have a laptop and cartoon episodes @ $1.99 a pop on iTunes? So awesome, let me tell you!
So he's pretty hooked on Scooby, hey it's a break from Thomas and not TOO bad I suppose.
While we were not watching this episode in particular, he starts telling me he had a bad dream about "The Creeper". It sounds way cuter out of his mouth though b/c he says, "Cweep-oh".
Cody: "Mom how old is the Cweep-oh?"
Me: "Well, let me see...he's probably 2."
Cody: "Oh! He's 2 like Oscar?"
Me: "Well I suppose he is..."
Co: "Mom? Then when is the Cweep-oh's birthday?"
Me: "Oh, I think all Cweep-oh's have the same birthday. I think they all have a birthday party on Halloween. Don't you think??"
Co: "Yeah. That's his birthday. Mom. I don't want to go to his paw-ty though okay?"

Not a problem dude.

compelling...

Well, I doubt I have anything compelling to say. I'm just compelled to blog today. So blog I shall.
We've got a lot of little "things" going on currently I guess. Just your day to day stuff, but changes of course.

Currently, I'm laying on my hind-quarters with my leg propped up in need of ice. Yep, never fails, get gung ho on getting in shape and there goes that damn knee again. It's not stubborn that keeps me from the dr. it is fear. Not fear of the dr. but my fear of doing something will make it worse. Make sense? I generally attribute that line of thinking to ignorance, and not the mean kind, but just a lack of knowing better. However, I am well aware that what would need to be done here is totally 50-50. It would either make it better or it will make it worse. The idea of worse terrifies me. It's painful, it slows me down, it keeps me from stuff, but I can live with it as a painful inconvenience as it is.
At any rate, this time, it seems that there might be a need for medical intervention. So, I have decided I will request a partial fix if anything happens. Maybe that will work for now. ;o)

So, beyond my seriously un-whiney whine we're moving. Just to a more convenient location. It's not IDEAL necessarily but it will give Mike more time at home. It will give us less worries overall beyond too many  noisy neighbors. (Oh how I loathe noisey neighbors! So I'm sure all of OUR  neighbors think too I'm sure! haha). It's so peaceful and quiet out here, except for when the effin' jets are flying over, the training area is in the midst of a major exercise (Brit troops, not ours) and there are tanks and machine guns etc... going nuts and then the stupid sheep. Remind me when we move back to Texas and I get sheep, b/c I fully intend on getting some, to make sure and keep them FAR from the house. If they are too close to me, I might be too tempted to then purchase a pet wolf. Seriously. How ANNOYING can they possibly BE???
Anyway, we have few neighbors here and they are all so nice, so quiet and just over all extremely friendly and helpful. I'm such a snob sometimes I know, but I guess I've just had my share of neighbors from hell that I'm terrified of moving in some closed in quarters.
I'm giving up my AMAZING backyard and I have almost come to tears a few times. Especially this time of year it's really really hard to give that up. Gone will be the days where I get hours of mostly uninterrupted time while the boys play themselves to exhaustion in the backyard. Doors and windows wide open, kids playing happily, dog running herself ragged keeping me from ever having to walk her...birds, butterflies, quiet. Gone.
Oh what on EARTH am I thinking???
It will be alright though. Daddy will be around more and that is MOST important. There are playgrounds everywhere you turn, which actually gives me anxiety attacks in itself. We'll be able to bike right from our house anywhere where as here we have to drive our bikes somewhere to ride safely. Lots and lots and lots of kids to play with. Just a lot of good things.
Much less house, virtually no backyard at all, and my neighbor phobia. However, there will also be no hour + commutes for Daddy, a MUCH less frequent visit to the gas pumps, more money in our pockets and NO worries about running out of OIL all the damn time!!!!
It will be nice and I am sure I will like it. On one hand, I relax at the idea, but the other I just feel sad. Just in time that we've really met a lot of people and settled in well, we move. Figures. However, we can't make it out to be an ordeal to come visit since we make the drive daily as it is right?? 8o)

So with that, I'm going nuts trying to figure out what on earth to do with the boys and school. I'm so upset that Co has to wait until 2011 to start. If we were in Texas he WOULD start this year, but Brit schools will keep him out b/c of ONE day and the way the DoDDs school is set up, it will also keep him out and Kade will ONLY just be starting Kindergarten now if he goes on base! So I just have a lot of work to do to find the proper solution for them and school that will fit. I'm just not up to settling when it comes to this.
Why can't it just be simple? We shall see though, maybe I will be pleasantly surprised and find some perfect fit. :)
The boys are really excited though. They just see playgrounds and lots of other kids and know that Daddy is near. That's all that matters to them. So, I will have to keep reminding myself to keep it in check and think like the boys and RELAX. We'll make it work. We always do. ;)

On top of that, after we're all moved and settled...well, I've decided to go back to school as well. It's not really for a change in a career path or anything of the sort. It's a dream unrecognized. It's something that will further my career in the long run and add to it as well. It is something that I want to always say I did. I do not, under ANY circumstances, think that a bona fide degree makes me any smarter, better or more able to do anything to be honest. I much prefer to say I do this and that with very little education and still kick the shit out of people with degrees. While I do savor that more than most people can really imagine, I also want to be able to say to my boys, how important it is. Not to have the degree so they can "be somebody" b/c they already ARE somebody. I just want to have it so I can back it up. I want them to go to college for the experience if nothing else. I want them to make use of the opportunities they will have afforded to them. Opportunities that many of us did NOT have, I want them to find culture and learn and absorb the whole world, not just a little part of it.
Most of all I want it, just because I want it. People ask and I say that, but I think it's taken as me just wanting something just because. It is not that, but as much as I HATED going to school, my brain thirsts. I crave knowledge and while I do know most everything...  haha! There are a few gaps I should fill in. ;)
The idea of it really excites me and Mike is really thrilled about it as well.
Cody said he'd make my lunch for me like I make his and Kade will help me get my uniform together. I surely didn't have the heart to tell them that most of it will take place right at home. I will most definitely let them pack me a sandwich and lay out some comfy clothes for me. ;o)
I was aiming to start the summer sessions, but we're going to aim for the fall since we will be all settled in by then and winter will be coming on, so I won't have any desire to be outside much by then. :o)


I've even got a couple of sessions lined up. I'm so beyond ready to dust off my damn camera it's just wrong really. I have sooooo many ideas all piled up in my brain, it's getting a bit full in here.

So, there are quite a few changes coming. Changes I think I, personally, am in need of. So while I'm sad at the prospect of some of it, overall it's a good thing. ;o)
Who knows, maybe Mike will get to sit down and actually eat dinner with us sometimes!

growing up

As a rite of passage in this house, if you are male anyway I guess, you go play golf. Kade, at only 5 years old got to go out ON the course with Daddy. They were going to play 9 holes, but after a lunch break, Kade wanted more! So they did 9 more and he wanted MORE still, but I think Dad was tired out. It was a really special day for them though, Mike was just as excited as Kade was.

He even got to drive the cart. :)

i ADORE this one. :) Reminds me of his Daddy right here... :)

In case you were unaware, it's called "puttling" not "putting". Don't get it wrong again....

So while Kade and Daddy had their special golfing day, I definitely had to take Co to do something fun. So we went on a steam train ride. It was a good time, but he was bored with it on the ride back, and tired...but due to his insistence on us sitting right behind the engine, there was no rest on the way back. We had a great time too, it was a lot of fun. I love getting to do something special with them one on one. I will have photos along shortly from our train expedition! :)

rough and tough bikers

it might look bad...but it's simply a roadside rest. good thing this is a road that is not used by cars eh? ha! we had a little bike trouble, so we pulled off on the side of the road to wait while Daddy rode off for a tool to get us fixed and back on the road. :)

Just chillin... :)

poor tired doggie

kade's big shiner. courtesy of cody. with a frying pan.
yeah...brotherly love. ain't nothin' like it in the world!

tired pooch

Oscar got a bit winded when we went for a bike ride. She's apparently a bit out of shape, but she had to stop for a rest, she just took the first seat she came to. haha

what is....UP??? or down?? or......SHINY!!!!!

Well, the planes are again. Thankfully. What a mess!!!
Well, it is official. I'm in "GET RID OF EVERYTHING" mode. Where the hell does this accumulation of "STUFF" come from? Kids sure, but...they certainly don't drive themselves to the store to BUY "stuff" so...I suppose I can't fully blame it on them. It's just annoying. I got rid of SO much before coming over here.
I just had this epiphany talking to my dr. one day. It was so simple it was a total forehead smack moment. Seriously.
I just simply cannot function with clutter. No distractions. I need one of those houses you see on tv that has like NOTHING in it. The 100% ikea home. There are things, but they are hidden and you can't see them unless you are getting them. Except I am kinda of veering away from Ikea furniture now. Yeah, it's alright...but hey I'm 32, I'm probably supposed to be like a grown up now. Real grown ups have dove-tail jointed drawers. Not fiber board (yes I tried to type fibre instead) drawers that are stapled and nailed back together 30 times b/c all those odd-matched socks that never get worn weigh too much for it.
Anyway, see? totally off track again.
Learning how to be...what IS the right word here? I don't want to say or even seek out to be remotely "normal" and well, I've always been human, just distracted. ;) I'll say domesticated, so we can picture Mowgli trying to organize kitchen cabinets and keep a playroom tidy for the 90 mph boy blurs that rush through it like a hurricane. Right. Surely growing up with wolves would leave one at a loss sometimes right?
Yeah he'd totally whip around me like there was nothing to it, go figure...
OMG. Meds, can you PLEASE kick in here?!?!?!?! Geez.
I'm never going to get through this short thought process.
For an example though, there's been a mess and I go to take care of it, I can't say how many times I've literally stood there. I stood there and stared at it, completely and totally unsure of what to do. Obviously, clean it up. However, the actual brain cell needed to cause the physical action that is necessary to begin is over there looking out the window at a butterfly or something. I've never been able to really explain it right, but the more I try to fix it, the more the explanation seems to come to me. The right analogy comes to mind.
So you see those movies that have robots or parasitic aliens with human hosts, when the batteries run out, or there is a glitch in the wiring or the parasite slithered away...that empty shell that looks like a breathing person standing there motionless, well that is me.
No really, its like there is a huge traffic jam ahead, HUGE one and you might sit at the on ramp and try to decide, "should I go on? surely it will clear off soon. Should I just go 15 miles out of the way to avoid it all together? what if i get to the other side of town and hit it at that spot too?" now you are blocking up the people that DO know where they want to go, passed you to the traffic jam on the freeway or around you through town to attempt to miss it all.
So now you are left with trying to muddle through the packed lanes slowly, you can try to take a quick and "easy" way around it all which will likely backfire b/c that's just the way karma works when you try to short-cut stuff. Well, now in the time you've tried to figure out what way to go, what to do, you're now trapped in between. You can't get on the interstate now and you can't go through town b/c all the other cars have since packed in around you and there's no way to even see out. No way to find the escape, if you could even get back home! Nothing. Stuck. So...you just sit there. Hell, maybe you take this opportunity to have a little nap and somewhere, out of the blue, you realize that two hours have passed and there's no telling where they really went. (Remember, that was only a "nap" inside my head, not for real).
So that is really what happens.
However, unknown to the common visitor's eye, I actually have a bit of an OCD streak. I can walk in and look at my pantry and find things out of order, facing the wrong way etc... and I swear it gives me anxiety. I feel so out of whack. I have to take EVERYTHING out, and put it back neatly. All veggies grouped appropriately by group, then color and size and absolutely EVERY one of them facing the exact same way...EXACTLY. Things are placed due to frequency of use, size so on so forth.
When I am done, I stand back and admire the organization. My mind, body and soul (no seriously I'm such a freak) just reeeeeeeee-lax. My brain feels clearer. I SMILE, I'm such a total serious freak, yes i SMILE.
Then I will walk away and find myself drawn to the pantry numerous times through out the day, not for food, but just to admire the organization and flow. I think it could be sort of like a OCD freakazoid valium or something. Having a rough day? Feeling stressed? Go look in the organized pantry.
So then, it sort of dominoes from there. It takes forever to realize the simplest things. It's so unfair, but then I guess that would make life far too easy and unbearably boring right?

I was really dumb founded by this...it was something I had to think on. I then thought of how I cannot seem to get any work done at my computer, but if I clean my desk off where there is basically nothing on it and what is there is situated just so, I can bust out some work like nobody's business.
So, now I  know this, and it makes this struggle that much more urgent. It is that much more necessary to purge anything that we do not NEED. We have far too much excess.
However, I know that it is there. I know it's in there somewhere....
I will find my way. I will figure out how to function properly, not forget, not lose time, not be late, know where everything is.
I. WILL.
It is coming, it is near and while it's FAR too slow going for my taste, it is going. Just way slooooooow.

It is really interesting to me, now in hindsight, what things the medication helps and what is really due to environment and discipline. A lot of this stuff is like dieting, or going to the gym regularly. I just have to train myself. I need to train myself all the way to the damn gym too while I'm at it, but that's another subject and I am now finishing this in a different day, a day that pills are working more properly you see. ;)

However, I'm more on time than I have been in a long time. I USED to be early all the time. Then, not so much. Then pretty much  never. Now I'm so so. Truth be told though, I actually can't STAND being early. It's so BORING! However, that is how I often end up late for anything anyway. I have to allot myself the perfect amount of time and not let anything muck it up. Too much time makes me stop keeping track of it, or get involved in something that I haven't got enough time for. Oh and the sitting and waiting? UGH!!! BORrrrrrrr-ING!
If only I were an interruptable person....yeah spell check, I just made that up. Deal with it.
My favorite and most noted difference though, is when I speak. I had gotten so bad that I couldn't finish words. Not sentences, but WORDS. I would get stuck in the middle of a WORD and completely forget what  I was trying to say. I love words, vocabulary is seriously important. I live in the thesaurus but I'd be trying to say a simple word and it and any other possible replacement word, would all escape me.
Then, I'd look like an idiot. Then it all went down hill from there.
What a mess. So if there were nothing else in the world that ADHD meds could do for me, they enable me to speak again. There are numerous other things of course, but seriously remembering to TAKE a pill daily is so monumental I could never explain (pills everyday? Not so much, and let me introduce you to my son Cody..... yeah. haha). So just TAKING the pills daily is enormous, then being able to SAY that, crazy awesome, anything else is just icing. :)
So there you have it. Frankly, I'm almost certain this began with a different subject in mind for topic, but hey this is where it ended up so there you go..............

At that, my son was an exhausting beast today, which is really bad considering he was at school for 6 hours of the day. He's not acted so bad in so long my brain just freaked out and I think it's worn out now. I need to finish my CSI. I bought a season on iTunes and oh, how fabulous it is! I miss TV!!! Not that I watch much, but the ability to I guess...but, this is actually kind of better to be honest. :)

exciting

this is really exciting. like i can't even say.

what on earth is even slightly exciting here???
well, let me share. it is b/c i was able to convert, adjust and save THIS photo....right on my LAPTOP!!!! YAY YAY YAY!!! through a couple hours of perseverance i have everything functioning on the laptop. oh exciting, exciting, exciting!!!!
i've only been able to edit pics on my ooooooold poor worn out work pc. the one i've blown up twice now. yeah that poor old thing. but, now i've got this one figured out, i can also fix it so i can use everything on my other much nicer newer desktop too. now that i know how. ;)
so i'm excited! this means, i'm pretty sure anyway....lots more pics on the ol' blog-a-roo now.