QUITTER!!!!!

Why yes, that ticker you see at the top of the page is, indeed, very true. Yes, still totally completely undeniably 100% smoke-free. Has it been hard? Actually not really. Not at all. Sure I put on a few pounds, but big deal. The first 4 days were the questionable ones. I knew if I made it past then, I'd be fine. I did, and I was. I still am. Even...with a smoker in the house still. :o)
Who, by the way, is also working on his quitting. :0) I told him his b-day was a pretty darn good time to quit. It was a really cool birthday present I gave to myself, he should try it.
Being free of the proverbial chains of an addiction is well...freeing. What else can you call it? I feel free, I smell better, I have no guilt, I am not walking around with the stench of shame and weakness wafting from my hair and clothes.
I've heard a few folks say they wish they could just do that, well..you can. All you have to do is....DO IT. This is not the first thing I've ever quit you know. The key is just having the guts to REALLY make up your mind. Not think you made up your mind but still allowing yourself room to fail. I left no room to fail on purpose. I told EVERYONE I'd quit once I made it past 72 hours b/c I KNEW I would not allow myself to fail in the eyes of SO many.
So, that is all it is. For me, I have to quit things cold turkey. If I touch it again, I will never stop.
YEsterday marked exactly one month of no cigarettes. I'm proud of me.
Well, I'm a gal with a LOT of vices. I hate having these weaknesses. So the things I wanted to quit doing this year, were quit smoking. Quit eating chocolate (all the time at least, celebrations and REALLY bad days are okay right?), and to quit drinking sodas all the time.
As it turned out, my body did me a favor yet again and decided I just could not stomach any sweets of any kind at all. So.... now I've been a few days w/ no dr. pepper and no chocolate. I should phrase that properly, I have had chocolate, just not in the form of a candy bar, cake or anything else. I will have my morning chocolate milk. Anyone be damned. It's my "coffee" you see and I have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Other than that though, none.
So perhaps this will be the year of quitting. That's what I thought originally. The number of vices I've got, I"m sure there would be no shortage. HOwever, its where therapy tends to kick in I guess. I decided "the year of quitting" is probably a little bit on the negative side. Therefore, it's simply the year of change. ;o)
Changes I will make, all through out the year. More specifically, the way its working out is a change each month. WHether it be quitting something, or starting something, or trying something. Each month I endeavor to do something different, to make the changes in myself that I want but never put forth the effort, energy or guts to do.

So, if you want to change something...join me. I am more than willing to be the ball buster in your head when you need it! (Just ask Mike, my smoking sympathy went out the window with my last smoke). He's working on it, and making very good progress now. :o)

So, last month, cigarettes, this month is apparently sweets...next month? Who knows? I've also gotten back on my exercise regime, so that's already on the go as well. Man, it's seriously pathetic how long it had been since i set foot back in the gym, but MAN OH MAN did I forget the insane HIGH I get from it? WOW. I need to go at least twice a day everyday!!!! I drove everyone nuts for hours after a half hour workout!!!

On that note, maybe my next thing shall be working on getting better sleep again. That was good. Mike's schedule sucks now though, so for whatever reason, I tend to get all out of whack too.

night all!

just to be a rebel and prove you wrong...

Since I know there are like 150 people sitting and staring at their screens, refreshing every other second, just hoping that I really will come back and post something else...
Well, okay so that's a load of crap. Anyway, just so I wouldn't be a liar or anything, here's a couple of pics of the snow. Now...truly, I have been sitting here, on my work computer since I last posted something. However...rather than putting together some monumental post of photos, amazing stories, hilarious ramblings etc... I've been having way more fun than that.
Yeah I've been backing up, cleaning off my hard drives. You'd think I'd have gotten like, REALLY far with that amount of time, but alas - not too far. It was really bad though, as in, I couldn't dump anymore of my memory cards until I got rid of some stuff because the grotesque amount of hard-drive storage space I have was kinda like...full.
Which is a. insanely disorganized and b. even more insanely irresponsible of me, I had to get it done, at least started!!!
So, that said, I made some room. I still have a LONG way to go, but I made some room at least. SO I could dump some photos from the last month! In layman's terms...I just dumped in about 1200 pictures to be done. So, yeah. We'll call it a worthwhile endeavor, although I may disagree when I have to get up in 4.5 hours!
Mike is now on a swing shift rotation. Which initially I was like, "woohoo! cool! he can do morning drop offs! how AWESOME to get to split this!!!"
Oh puh-LEAZE give me a break for being SO naive. Really, how can I ever give them the benefit of the doubt? Yeah. Well, it's an EXTENDED shift, so he doesn't even get off till 2AM and then it's nearly an hour drive home and then you add in the fact that England has gone arctic over the past month. Well...needless to say, my hopes and dreams of splitting the school running around were immediately shattered.
Go figure.
Someday, perhaps SOMEday I will know what it is like to all be here in the morning for breakfast, and all home at dinner time. YES I am well aware I"m thankful to have him here at all. DUH. More than most can actually imagine. Still, you hope, wonder what it's like. You know how the grass is always greener, in my mind...meals are always higher attendance numbers.
So anyway. That said. I'm going to toss some old photos up here, that probably need some 'splainin' but no time. Must sleep. This whole quitting smoking is great and all, even with the re-extension of my ASS, but...I'm about to bash my head through a wall with this stupid ass coughing! Did I not QUIT so I wouldn't do that?!?!?! Okay so I realize, now that I googled it a couple days ago, that it is just part of the healing process - IT CAN GO AWAY NOW!!!!!!!!
Well, my optimistic side says, since I'm coughing so much so soon for so long, that only means that my body is regenerating that good ol' lung stuff faster, stronger, better and maybe there will only be minimal damage. Let us all hope.

Now.
On to the photos so I can go hack, sputter, and choke myself to sleep.

Just a *few* from some of our recent snow. This is the first snow we got before Christmas. I don't know really how much we've ended up with. We got a great deal more up here than they got near the base. It snowed just before Christmas, had pretty much all melted off but in some places in the woods where there was no sun, and then at New Years we got hit again. There's still snow on the ground. I still can't get in my parking spot in front of the house. It's still extremely touchy just getting out to the main road...absolutely INSANE I tell you. Nothing this West Texas gal has ever seen in her *short* young years. ;o)

Sweet dreams all!!!!

this is not my kid...

...although that may surprise you. he rocks as hard as mine do. :)
anyway i know, i know, i'm SO getting reamed for posting a video of some stranger's kid and not one of mine.
but oh my God how freakin CUTE and awesome is that???
well, perhaps some may not agree, but i had to share it b/c i think it's well....rockin!
hehe

http://myfirstfail.com/2010/01/12/funny-baby-photos-acdc-the-early-years/


but....well, it's only 7:40 PM. the kids are snoozing and mike is at work. there are things i *could* do, as always but perhaps i will excuse myself for a bit, freeze myself and i don't know...post some overdue things that have been waiting??
or perhaps a couple of new things?
i dunno...i suppose something. i will do SOMETHING. ;o)