So here I sit again. Ready to write. Why does it always hit me at the most unreasonable time? When I'm least able to sit down and spit it out somewhere? I certainly won't remember the exact sentiments later. I've tried. I think I will, but it just never seems as good, what I thought up, the second time I try to get it out.
My vow for the year is to put more thoughts out there. For all to see. More of me. Sometimes I feel like I walk around naked enough for everyone on earth as it is, but what may well frighten many is that I actually keep far more inside than I ever let out.
While that is fine for many, it's something that simply feels "wrong" to me. I never feel free enough, loose enough, when I have to keep too much in. I feel too heavy and weighed down. No puns on the size of my ass either, just simply an inner anchor that I must throw over the side of the ship to keep me grounded. Perhaps I feel like I get lost in all the stuff on the inside if I don't spit it out as often as possible?
It's hard to tell, but when the worry of offending people by my words and my vision of the world subsides when I've let myself purge some of these things, I feel so insanely free and grounded and 'here'. Saying I'm 'here' is pretty well impossible to explain, but those that know what I mean, just know what I mean. Of course I'm "HERE" all the time, but I have a day-dreamy mind. Perhaps it is something all creatives share. I could not for a moment try to put myself in the mind of a totally logical person that cannot ever see the possibility of the impossible. Mathematically speaking, I couldn't figure up anything to know what may or may not be possible. That said, my brain is actually right down the center line. I'm not 100% one thing or the other. Even to the shock and surprise of professionals I've got the equal amount of artistic thought as I do logical, though not enough patience to work through either one as far as I should.
Call me Miss Middle of the Road.
My vow for the year is to put more thoughts out there. For all to see. More of me. Sometimes I feel like I walk around naked enough for everyone on earth as it is, but what may well frighten many is that I actually keep far more inside than I ever let out.
While that is fine for many, it's something that simply feels "wrong" to me. I never feel free enough, loose enough, when I have to keep too much in. I feel too heavy and weighed down. No puns on the size of my ass either, just simply an inner anchor that I must throw over the side of the ship to keep me grounded. Perhaps I feel like I get lost in all the stuff on the inside if I don't spit it out as often as possible?
It's hard to tell, but when the worry of offending people by my words and my vision of the world subsides when I've let myself purge some of these things, I feel so insanely free and grounded and 'here'. Saying I'm 'here' is pretty well impossible to explain, but those that know what I mean, just know what I mean. Of course I'm "HERE" all the time, but I have a day-dreamy mind. Perhaps it is something all creatives share. I could not for a moment try to put myself in the mind of a totally logical person that cannot ever see the possibility of the impossible. Mathematically speaking, I couldn't figure up anything to know what may or may not be possible. That said, my brain is actually right down the center line. I'm not 100% one thing or the other. Even to the shock and surprise of professionals I've got the equal amount of artistic thought as I do logical, though not enough patience to work through either one as far as I should.
Call me Miss Middle of the Road.
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