I knew this day would come, I imagined it so long ago. I tried to picture what you would look like at this age, I knew it'd be damn cute regardless. Trying to think back now, did I get your smile right? Your hair color? Probably not. ;o) Those eyes are still unmistakable though!
Kade, today you turn 5 years old. I cannot believe how fast time has gone by. I feel so anxious about it, wanting it to stop, slow down...just let me make sure I'm doing this right! Let me make sure I get in all the things I want you to remember. Fun things, special things, things that made you happy. Have I taught you enough to be five already? Are you ready for this? I might be out in left field, but to me turning five is the first big deal birthday you get when you are young. You're not a baby, not a toddler, pre-schooler or anything else anymore. You are a KID now! A full blown big boy!
I don't know if I'm ready for you to be a big boy yet, but I guess there's just no stopping it either! The good thing is, and the thing that maybe you won't want the world to know in a few years, is that you are a Mama's boy. You still crawl up in my lap and cuddle like nobodies business. If my arms are feeling empty, it takes but one simple request and you readily fill them up.
You are such, and have always been, a loving boy. That is probably my biggest worry for you. Letting you out into the big bad world, you will soon find that everyone is not as loving as you are. They are not all kind-hearted and caring. The thought of you realizing that, breaks my heart just a bit because I fear it will break yours just a little as well. Perhaps it has not been the right thing to do, but I have just wanted you to be a kid and nothing more. It is still what I want for you and your brother. Just enjoy being kids because it's a really short amount of time you get that privilege and then you have to grow up. Only when you are a grown up, do you find...it's really not that fun at all. It pretty well sucks most of the time, except for getting to do neat things like raise little boys.
I just want to keep seeing that look on your face that I have always seen, and I still see so very often. That look that tells me your body might be right here, but your imagination has you a million miles away. I think that when you are there, wherever it is, you are free and happy and never know a care in the world. I hope that you are always able to go there, whenever you need to. Whatever this wonderful place is, it is yours and yours alone.
Your intelligence and imagination absolutely amaze me. Your imagination never stops. Never stops and that makes me smile.
I smile when I walk up to my car and see you've drawn a smiley face on the door in the dirt. When I walk around to the back of the car and find a whole scene of stick people going to work or making dinner. I smile when I find 30 million pieces of paper all through out the entire house anywhere and everywhere anyone could ever imagine, that are all drawings, scenes, words, letters and/or numbers that you've drawn. You've gone to nearly obsessive but I will certainly let you. :o) Most definitely let you let your imagination pour out of you freely.
I love it so much, that I do something I probably should not and perhaps your dates will be horrified by it when you are older...but I let you play with your food. So when you are 26 and don't understand why these girls get these crazy looks on their faces when you take them out to dinner and then don't return your calls. This is why. Well, truly though, it's a blessing in disguise I am sure, because until you take out the girl that truly appreciates your ability to replicate the Eiffel Tower with 4 pretzels, some broccoli and a piece of bread, she's just not your soul mate. No, until you take out the girl that leans across the table and adds her own monument in mashed potatoes, you just need to keep searching.
I let you play with your food because for some reason, your imagination goes wild when you eat and you've constructed some of the truly neatest damn things with your food. To add to the weirdness of our family, I then try to grab my camera and photograph your masterpieces before they are crushed, eaten or otherwise mutilated.
You are the boy, that any mother would be overjoyed to have as a son. You are the boy that I dreamt of. You are the boy, that I smile about each time I realize that you are MINE. That I was blessed to have you, to be your Mom and to get to spend nearly EVERY single day of your life with you until you go off on your own.
Some ways you leaving home is so far off, but in the same breath, I know it's really not going to be that far off in the grand scheme of things.
So since we know I could gush on you for hours on end, I will close here and just say, that I love you. I am so very proud of you in every way imaginable and I am so very, very lucky to be your Mommy and watch you grow up. You are the greatest brother, such a beautiful and loving son and a great friend to everyone.
Happy Birthday baby boy.
To end...a slideshow. Five years of Kade, in no particular order. Almost, but not precisely... ;o)
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