I OB-ject!!!

Yep! Look at me go! Three whole days!!! Today was a tough one too. I will not deny it.
Today's theme is "Me in an Object" which probably could have been easy had I not already sort of done that on day one.
It's alright though. Gotta beat the rust off the wheels here and get the brain crankin' right?

So obviously...the easiest answer possible here would have undeniably been my camera. Of course! However, that's an easy answer, not very deep b/c that is me deep within and right out on the outside. It's all over me. Who couldn't peg that one? I can't stop being the camera for heaven's sakes!!! I try to imagine it, and cannot. It's kind of sick truthfully!

Anyway...on with the program here. I actually do have work to do and with my limited time lately...I should take advantage!

Me in an Object...

 

Pencils. 

Ooooh how many people said "WHA???". Yep. I think this challenge is even a bit MORE difficult being overseas and so far away from things that I could pick up from my past etc... It's good though.  

When looking beyond my camera, I had to think about what really would be left for me, if...I don't know my eyes fell out of my head or something strange like that. Pencils. I have, indeed, always always always taken photographs. Yeah, yeah lots of people SAY that in their "About Me" section on their websites, but I really DID annoy people and pets for years on end. So the thought of me without that is a bit foreign. The other thing I always did was draw, write, sketch, scribble and doodle. I still do. I own so many sketch books it's sort of sick. They are not full really and there is nothing spectacular in any of them. It's simply so I always have one readily available and so that they feel fresh. Nothing worse than an old stale sketchbook! ;) 

Getting to the deep part though, writing or drawing was, for many years, my ONLY escape. I could not stand up and leave. I could not say what I felt. I could do do what I wanted, or what felt right to me. I was a prisoner in my own life. Though on many occasions my drawings and writing came back to bite me in the ass, it was always still worth it. It was my ONLY way to free my mind. I can't imagine how crazy I might have otherwise gone without at LEAST having this one outlet. Going through abuse is tough enough, being unable to use your voice, whatever it may be, to let out some of your frustration and pain is the cruelest of all. 

It was my way of trying to work things out. I still have my diary that I started when I was 9 years old. I wrote in it as if I were writing a letter to a friend. Though that privacy was invaded and used against me on numerous occasions, I still kept at it. It was that important to me. It was all I had. Still to this day, doodling calms me. I write things, I doodle things, I get insanely frustrated when I cannot put something out on the paper as I see it in my head. All of that, still very much the same. Though these days, I do tend to do the majority of my actual writing on a keyboard. ;) I am never able to convey my truest feelings to people in person but when I am so overwhelmed and unable to truly get things out, my first stop is my pencils or my keyboard. I must write, draw, scribble and sketch.