breath of fresh air

oh how i need one of those so bad! i know, you've all been lost without my wit and charm for days yeah? i'm so sure.
the boys have caught some kind of funk. i was initially assuming it was just going to be a quick run, i wasn't even sure they were really getting sick. however on monday when kade woke up head spinning, it took a mere dirty look from him and any object in the path of his vision burst into flames. i called into the school and told the teacher that perhaps they were coming down with something, but perhaps not but at any rate, i was certain they did not pay her enough to put up with the devil incarnate on a monday. she thanked me profusely for thinking of them so kindly and then informed me we were the fourth call in. that was pretty much all i needed to hear to know this was not going to be any easy ordeal to get through.
oh man. how little did i know.
the boys have a very methodical way of getting sick, so when things began backwards, i was totally thrown for a loop. cody always starts with a clear runny nose, gradually but daily worsening and reducing my appetite daily. i am certain if there was a call for kid snot, i could hire him out and be rich in a month. i've never seen the like. anyway, as the nose gets nastier, then it makes its way to his chest. well, this started in his chest. nose is clear. that was not a good sign. kade, well he always starts off an illness baring his horns and tail, it is how i know he's not feeling well for there is no other time he acts this way. that is cody's job thank you very much.
oh but can you imagine my pain when they are BOTH acting that way and it is then amplified by feeling like crap AND i'm covered in snot? covered in snot you say? remember Ghostbusters? That ghost called Slimer? (if you are too young to remember that, then why the hell are you reading my blog anyway??? go away! you make me feel old!!!).
sick cody is the ideal mate to slimer.
so, needless to say, the kids have beaten me down to a crawling, wailing heap this week. no school. damn those germs. not to mention the wasted gas to take them to the base hospital. damn antibiotic hoarding asses. seriously, just give me the crap anyway to make me FEEL like i'm doing something besides living in screaming, writhing, coughing, no sleeping, snot hell. for God's sakes PLEASE. at least find me a drug that will KNOCK THEM OUT!
am i lucky enough to have kids that will pass the hell out with drugs? nope. cursed to have those children, as i've now found it is BOTH of them not just one, that get WIRED THE HELL OUT with cold/allergy meds. yay.
snot. screaming. crying. squirming. worming. screaming. snot. snot. screaming. snot. spaz. snot.screaming. crying.
that's been my week. as each day wore on, they worse it got. today i was just going to make the school deal with it for two whopping hours. it is not like it is cheap ya know, they should just earn their keep right? oh but by the time the morning came, i simply did not have the energy to even get them dressed and fight the battle to get them THERE. it is only two hours on Friday and it just wasn't worth it. if it had been an entire day to recoup, sure.
no.
so i've hardly had time to wipe my OWN nose much less get on my computer, check email...to hell with getting to blog anything. not to mention it would have just been pathetic type-crying, begging for mercy from the sick kid Gods. when it got me nowhere i'd have only felt that much more defeated. so i saved myself the heartache of being ignored.
that or it would have been that repetitive repertoire i've had all week.
"wipe your nose".
"wipe your butt".
"wipe your nose".
"wipe your butt".
"don't wipe your bogies on that."
"don't pee on that."
"don't wipe your bogies on that."
"don't pee on that".
when you start to come out of the sick kid fog, you begin to realize how zoned the hell out you get. i think a job at mcdonald's looked more appealing this week than ever. i was even envious of the garbage men for a moment. i'm pretty sure they'd have run off screaming for their lives had i propositioned one of them to trade places with me for the day. damn them. okay, so it was recycling week - you know, the CLEAN trash. it still counts though!
anyway, snot be damned, their asses are at school next week. believe you me. not to mention Daddy will be home more next week.
regardless, my alarm is set and i'm OUT OF HERE bright and early in the morning.
ALONE!!!!
i'd already decided i was going to vacate the premises when no one was paying any attention, but then my loving husband mentioned it to me on the phone, so i didn't even have to guilt anyone into my escape. yay!
i'm also so excited because i'm going to norwich ALL ALONE and hitting up... oh i just shudder with excitement. the british WAL MART!!!!!!
oh my. can you believe it has been almost FOUR entire months since i've been in one? yes, i went to wal mart one last time immediately before boarding our plane.
i cried. the employees there didn't seem too fond of my blubbering sobbing hugs...but they appeased me anyway. likely out of fear, but whatever.
so to get here and find they really ARE a subsidy of Wal Mart and there's one a mere 18 miles from here.
i'm SO there.

so on that note. i have a boy in my office at nearly 11pm. the boy that will be FOUR YEARS OLD in EIGHT FLIPPING DAYS!!! (when did this happen???). so i should herd him off to bed and go myself so i can be well rested for my ME day.

i bid you all, farewell....