My Biggest Birthday Boy

Did you know that you turned 4 today? Four years old, it is honestly unbelievable that you are already so old. I won't say it just seems like yesterday, but maybe only a year ago that I held your tiny baby body in my arms. The story of your birth is one that is still remembered in the Labor and Delivery Ward where you were born. You are so special, you had to make one heck of an entrance! You most certainly did do just that!
You have always had this aura that is hard to describe, it surrounds you completely and always has. You are tender, empathetic, giving and very very animated! I have recently decided that you will be a wonderful actor. You love to play bits from movies you see and pretend you are characters. You do it so well too! Your artistic side has been blossoming lately and it makes my heart swell. You can make anything out of anything, you love to find shapes in the clouds and make intricate works with things only an artist could use. Your creativity is endless. You are always the first to rush to someone that might be sad or injured to be sure that they are okay. When Mommy's heart hurt so bad last year it broke even more because you were so concerned, you sat and cried with your arms wrapped around my neck telling ME it was going to be okay. A mere three years old, and you consoled your Mommy when she could not hide her hurt from you.
You offer up the tightest hugs at any given time, and never ever refuse a smooch. You have always puckered those lips out a mile to give a good kiss, since you were a little baby. Your eyes, those beautiful beautiful eyes, see the world differently than anyone else does. There is no denying that, just the way you look at things, the way you stare off in the distance, it seems you can see the whole world right in front of you. You have always been such a clown, you make me laugh every chance you get, and perform for the family when you think no one is looking. One of my greatest joys is watching, watching yourself in the mirror when you think no one sees. You are most definitely MY son, no doubt of that! Not only because you look so much like I did at that age -- but boy-ish of course! So many of your mannerisms, expressions and actions just remind me so much of me when I was able to be free.
You are, honestly, so much greater of a big brother than I could have ever expected. You are so proud of your baby brother, so protective and so loving. Of COURSE you guys fight, but you are supposed to. You fight less than you love and play together and that is what is important. You've stood up for him from day one, even though he can take you down already, you still don't hesitate for one moment to stand up for him, speak up for him or just give him a kiss and hug when he is afraid.
I dreamt of you.
I dreamt of hearing you cry, holding you against my chest and of staring at you. Just staring at you. The whole time I was pregnant with you, that is what I would day dream about. Just staring at you. I did plenty of that when you got here too. I love to watch you be a kid, I love to just LET you be a kid. I wish and hope that you only ever know the freedom of being yourself to your core. I hope that you appreciate and love the person you are and the person you are becoming. I hope that you never once question who you are, and if you do...that you can quickly find him again. You never cease to amaze me with how intelligent you are, how creative and just how simply beautiful you are inside and out. There are times that I look at you and cannot believe what I did that was so good, to get such an amazing son as you. I'm not sure how I deserved you, but I'm sure not going to question it much! I am thankful to no end, that I was blessed with you. Blessed with a healthy beautiful little boy who has a heart of gold, who is happy, helpful and loving.
This age is so wonderful, an age your Daddy and I have always looked forward to because you are such a big boy, you can tell us things all on your own. So the first time you randomly said, "Mommy, I love you". all on your own nearly had me in tears. The time I laid you in bed and you looked up at me with those enormous eyes and said, "Mommy, you're my BEST friend!" I will never ever forget that as long as I live. It was one of those moments that Mommy's look forward to and always hold on to.
I will admit I was pretty sad that this year, we were not surrounded by our family and friends on your special day. I was afraid that you would think it was not as special or important because they were not all here. However, you were so proud of it being your day, so proud of your "Birthday Boy" button you wore all day and so proud to be able to READ your name on your birthday cake. You never once got upset that it was just us four. You loved it. You loved your gifts and your cake and your ribs. Everything about you, you loved it so much you asked again when you went to bed, if we could have your birthday again tomorrow.
You are just happy to be with your family and have them making a bit more of a fuss over you...that's my boy!
We all love you so much, are so proud of you and so very blessed to have you in our lives.

I love you so much my little Monkey. No matter how OLD you get, I will never stop calling you that so get over it!
My wish for you, is for you to always know how very very loved you are by everyone.
EVERYONE.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!



Here you are on your way to school sporting your birthday boy badge!
You got to take cupcakes to school, you requested chocolate so Mommy made you devil's food with triple chocolate icing! If we're going to have chocolate...why not go all the way?

You are such a big boy!

Your current favorite food is ribs! You silly boy, but you eat them like they are going out of style! So you, of course, had your favorite meal tonight!

We then had your chocolate birthday cake with red on it. Per your request. :) Someday Mommy will make a straight cake!

Gee...Thanks.

Thanks? Yes. Thank you. I give thanks.
I have so much to be thankful for.


Great family.
Wonderful friends.
Fantastic opportunities.
Amazing memories.
Bright Future.
Health.
Love.
Life.
Dreams.

I am blessed. I think I might get fired from blogging if I keep saying that?
I've had a lot of yucky things of course, but who cares about that? None of that stuff matters at all when you get so many wonderful things to reflect on at the end of the day. It snuffs out all the poopy stuff. There's that damn optimist trying to bust out of the closet again. Oh...I guess I'll let her out for the day.
While yes it is technically Thanksgiving TODAY, we are actually going to do it tomorrow.
We are having dinner here at OUR house (there's a first) with our neighbors, fellow Americans and military far from home tomorrow. They were all graciously donating their time on base to those young folks that so definitely deserved some good food today. So we chose to wait a day and have our dinner together tomorrow. Five adults, 3 teenagers, 1 preteen and 2 preschoolers. Should be fun. Most definitely. I'm hoping that next year, we will be very settled so that we can fill our home to capacity with folks hungry for good turkey and hilarious company (I mean come on now...let's be honest, what better could anyone have on Thanksgiving than US???).
Hopefully, next year we'll have our own TABLE. Yes, let us hope. We will, no doubt.

At any rate, I Hope that everyone, in some way was surrounded by great people, great food or at the very least, some great memories to look back on. Thinking of those that are feeling lonely on this day, those that have a hunger pain and too much need for more blankets. If I could accomodate just for the day, I'd do so without a second thought.

We did get to webcam with some of our family, as much as the connection would hang on that is. I think we may have spent more time trying to keep it going than visiting. Regardless, we got to SEE some of our peeps on this day and they us. Our kids got to say hi and blow kisses to one another.
I got to talk to my sister on the phone and my Grandmother and listen to all those sorry relatives of mine feasting on MY DUMPLINGS!!!!! They TOTALLY should have gone without in honor of me. Turds.
Ah well, if someone can enjoy them, then I suppose it is a good day right?

So, I close with a photograph. A photo I am so thankful to have. A photo I am saving to give her for Christmas, so DON'T ANYONE SPOIL IT AND PRINT IT FOR HER! Here is a good example of why it might be good my Grandma refuses to get computer savvy.
A photo I am thankful to have, a photo I would love to have myself, a photo I hope to have of my own someday. A photo of generations still connected. A photo of a very sincere and pure love.
That love of a Great-Grandmother and Great-Grandchild.
I shot this on one of the last visits with family before we left Texas. We got to get together for a bar b que at my Dad's house finally, it had only been years and years. My family, my Dad and step-Mom, my sister's family and my Grandma all sat on the patio out back and had some great burgers. Some laughs and some more memories to add to the vault.
A photo I just shot as the moments wound down.
I love it.
She will too.
I am thankful to have her in my life. I've always been thankful to have her in my life. I'm thankful to have KNOWN her and to STILL know her. I am thankful that my husband and my children know her too. She's someone great to know and anyone that knows her, knows how lucky they are to know of such an amazing, caring, loving, giving person.
My beautiful Grandmother Lorene.
Kissing Kade Good-bye as she left for the afternoon.
I am thankful for the constance of her love through out my entire life.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING POOR BORED PEOPLE WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN BORING YOUR BRAIN AND EYEBALLS WITH MY BLOG (including amazing photography of course).
Have a wonderful day and don't forget to be thankful. Regardless of what you think, no matter who you are, you DO have SOMETHING to be thankful for, hopefully you can sit and think of more than you might have thought of off the bat.
:)
Think about it.

Sing it with me now!!!

"Frooooosty... the Longhorn FAN! Frosty the LONGHORN FAN!....."
Yeah, seriously, had I had more time he'd have been totally Texas'd out.
The kids were about done here - well WE were, Kade could live in an igloo in his underwear I think.
Cody, however, poor guy hacked up 4 lungs while we were out there, not sure where he got the reserve lungs, thank goodness though. Apparently his illness and cold wet weather did not work all that well together. So he was not too into the whole snow thing too much. Granted, if he'd realize that gloves were not, indeed, the spawn of some Satanic textile factory he might not hate the cold quite so much.
So, here is...our very FIRST snowman ever.
We had enough the previous year or two, but as I mentioned, they were probably too ill by far to be out in it. They would have melted it with their fevers anyway.
So, here we have it folks... the Payne boy first ever snowman.
(Yeah so Daddy did the hard part, that is what he's here for right?).

Getting hammered with snowballs IS that hilarious.

Again, I'll mention how much GLOVES would have assisted his efforts here.

You wanna know what Cody's expression means?
That says, "Dad, I'm glad you have so much faith in the protective and warming powers of pull ups, but...they just don't really do the job like you might think. You should try it yourself buddy..."

SNOW DAY!!!!

"Does it snow in England?"
"No, not very much, maybe a little but not till the beginning of the year".
I must say, perhaps we bring out something in the Mother Nature of Great Britain because it does, indeed, snow a bit...even in NOVEMBER! I mean, not even Thanksgiving yet!
Now...mind you in West Texas it definitely does snow, at LEAST once per year, sometimes two or three times. The issue is that when it begins to stick, you must immediately drop everything, bundle up and RUSH outside to play in it or build a muddy snow man b/c it will inevitably melt before you can get finished with it. Not to mention, it seems as though every single time you can beat all of that, you and/or your children are sick as dogs with 190 degree temps and things streaming out some orifice or another (hey it could be the nose too thank you, don't get all grossed out now).
Well, sick we were, but we braved it anyway.
See, that's my goofy ass husband in the snow in a t-shirt while we force our children into 95 coats and a hat and 16 pair of pants and 12 pair of socks. Way to lead by example!
Oh yes, they do own gloves, but Kade who insists on wearing them at ALL times has lost one of every single pair and Cody will scratch out your eyeballs if you even look like you are going to try to put those things on his hands. He seems to think they are instruments of evil sent straight up from hell or something. I've never seen anyone flip out over something like that. He flips out over the most unusual things, in the most unusual ways though, so what is new?
They had fun, the whole 15 minutes we played in it. I just couldn't tell them no. They stood at the sliding door for 2 hours with pleading in their eyes.
Damn me for having kids with some gorgeous eyeballs.
Damn me, damn me.

breath of fresh air

oh how i need one of those so bad! i know, you've all been lost without my wit and charm for days yeah? i'm so sure.
the boys have caught some kind of funk. i was initially assuming it was just going to be a quick run, i wasn't even sure they were really getting sick. however on monday when kade woke up head spinning, it took a mere dirty look from him and any object in the path of his vision burst into flames. i called into the school and told the teacher that perhaps they were coming down with something, but perhaps not but at any rate, i was certain they did not pay her enough to put up with the devil incarnate on a monday. she thanked me profusely for thinking of them so kindly and then informed me we were the fourth call in. that was pretty much all i needed to hear to know this was not going to be any easy ordeal to get through.
oh man. how little did i know.
the boys have a very methodical way of getting sick, so when things began backwards, i was totally thrown for a loop. cody always starts with a clear runny nose, gradually but daily worsening and reducing my appetite daily. i am certain if there was a call for kid snot, i could hire him out and be rich in a month. i've never seen the like. anyway, as the nose gets nastier, then it makes its way to his chest. well, this started in his chest. nose is clear. that was not a good sign. kade, well he always starts off an illness baring his horns and tail, it is how i know he's not feeling well for there is no other time he acts this way. that is cody's job thank you very much.
oh but can you imagine my pain when they are BOTH acting that way and it is then amplified by feeling like crap AND i'm covered in snot? covered in snot you say? remember Ghostbusters? That ghost called Slimer? (if you are too young to remember that, then why the hell are you reading my blog anyway??? go away! you make me feel old!!!).
sick cody is the ideal mate to slimer.
so, needless to say, the kids have beaten me down to a crawling, wailing heap this week. no school. damn those germs. not to mention the wasted gas to take them to the base hospital. damn antibiotic hoarding asses. seriously, just give me the crap anyway to make me FEEL like i'm doing something besides living in screaming, writhing, coughing, no sleeping, snot hell. for God's sakes PLEASE. at least find me a drug that will KNOCK THEM OUT!
am i lucky enough to have kids that will pass the hell out with drugs? nope. cursed to have those children, as i've now found it is BOTH of them not just one, that get WIRED THE HELL OUT with cold/allergy meds. yay.
snot. screaming. crying. squirming. worming. screaming. snot. snot. screaming. snot. spaz. snot.screaming. crying.
that's been my week. as each day wore on, they worse it got. today i was just going to make the school deal with it for two whopping hours. it is not like it is cheap ya know, they should just earn their keep right? oh but by the time the morning came, i simply did not have the energy to even get them dressed and fight the battle to get them THERE. it is only two hours on Friday and it just wasn't worth it. if it had been an entire day to recoup, sure.
no.
so i've hardly had time to wipe my OWN nose much less get on my computer, check email...to hell with getting to blog anything. not to mention it would have just been pathetic type-crying, begging for mercy from the sick kid Gods. when it got me nowhere i'd have only felt that much more defeated. so i saved myself the heartache of being ignored.
that or it would have been that repetitive repertoire i've had all week.
"wipe your nose".
"wipe your butt".
"wipe your nose".
"wipe your butt".
"don't wipe your bogies on that."
"don't pee on that."
"don't wipe your bogies on that."
"don't pee on that".
when you start to come out of the sick kid fog, you begin to realize how zoned the hell out you get. i think a job at mcdonald's looked more appealing this week than ever. i was even envious of the garbage men for a moment. i'm pretty sure they'd have run off screaming for their lives had i propositioned one of them to trade places with me for the day. damn them. okay, so it was recycling week - you know, the CLEAN trash. it still counts though!
anyway, snot be damned, their asses are at school next week. believe you me. not to mention Daddy will be home more next week.
regardless, my alarm is set and i'm OUT OF HERE bright and early in the morning.
ALONE!!!!
i'd already decided i was going to vacate the premises when no one was paying any attention, but then my loving husband mentioned it to me on the phone, so i didn't even have to guilt anyone into my escape. yay!
i'm also so excited because i'm going to norwich ALL ALONE and hitting up... oh i just shudder with excitement. the british WAL MART!!!!!!
oh my. can you believe it has been almost FOUR entire months since i've been in one? yes, i went to wal mart one last time immediately before boarding our plane.
i cried. the employees there didn't seem too fond of my blubbering sobbing hugs...but they appeased me anyway. likely out of fear, but whatever.
so to get here and find they really ARE a subsidy of Wal Mart and there's one a mere 18 miles from here.
i'm SO there.

so on that note. i have a boy in my office at nearly 11pm. the boy that will be FOUR YEARS OLD in EIGHT FLIPPING DAYS!!! (when did this happen???). so i should herd him off to bed and go myself so i can be well rested for my ME day.

i bid you all, farewell....

now it is just getting

annoying right?

yes i am

still playing around. hehe. is this not just entertaining as it can be?