You're thinking, "WHAT??" aren't you? Be glad you were not there.
See... I've had bad luck with my jeans lately. First, my most favorite pair of jeans in the world, that I've ever had in my whole entire life ripped. Okay so they were actually purchased ripped up quite a bit, but...they ripped somewhere that is a bit of a fashion faux pas, if not against the law. I actually shed a tear or two. Me, the not so sensitive person I am, did actually shed a tear over my beloved jeans. Okay and so a lot of that emotion was due to the fact that it's the first pair of jeans I ever bought that were actually a bit too long for me (American Eagle my tall sisters, AE has got you covered my friends!) but we'd also been so tight on funds for so long, it was really the only "good" pair I had.
So fast track here, I had two pair of Gap jeans that I bought last year. They were very special in a sentimental way. Like... I worked so hard to lose weight and I was so giddy when I tried on the 10 and it wasn't like some massive explosion of flubber trying to spill out every thread that could spare it. I was so giddy in fact, that I had to take a photo with my iPhone and text it to Frankie. First me IN the jeans, and then a close up of the size tag. Yep. I'm like "that". I really never thought I'd see the day. So the 2nd pair was even more special, b/c they were even a size smaller. So, poor Frankie, got yet ANOTHER picture of me in jeans in a Gap dressing room.
Well, they got worn. They got worn A LOT. They were long enough you see, and that is something that I"m just not used to and it is, indeed, a RARE find. Well, the smaller pair ended up with a hole in the knee, well that surely didn't bother me. However, the worn places, starting out like a hole near the back pockets were a cause for concern. So I only wore them around the house...
Until tonight that is. I accidentally wore the wrong pair to get groceries. A big grocery trip. One that involved a lot of stooping, bending etc... Granted, I always wear long shirts, but who knows how many times it wasn't taking care of me.
I will just say, that of all the times in my life, tonight would have been a GREAT one to have on some boy shorts, or at least a big ol' pair of Granny Panties. Apparently, I spent over an hour in a grocery store, with two fair sized holes in the ass of my jeans. I find it really sad, that it took Mike pointing this out to me when I got home to know about it though. You would think I'd have noticed. You'd think...
So, for that, all of you that had the sheer misfortune of being behind me this evening, I sincerely apologize. I wish, for your sake, that it had not happened more than for my own. At the very least, I could've at least had such a monumental wardrobe error when I was 20 and had a cute rear end and not when I was 31 and have birthed two children and not kept in shape enough.
I apologize. I will gladly offer up some other mental images for you that might erase this horrible incident from your memory. I will not, however, pay any therapy bills for you. You'll just have to get over it on your own. I do, however, very sincerely apologize for the nightmares, nausea, and aversion to grocery stores that you will likely experience for the next few months.
Please forgive me...
These are the days that you miss the anonymity of Wal Mart.
In other news...
I weighed the boys the other day and they both weighed exactly the same. 43.0 lbs. WOW. Crazy huh???
They've also decided, amidst their non-stop brawling the past several days, that they are kinda cool with me taking photos of them together. I have a few that are still on my camera that make this Mama's heart happy. FINALLY. It only took THREE years.
I was so excited when I went to the base the other day and found all of their garden plants 50% off. I loaded my cart FULL of flowers. Their flowers are always, even at full price, half dead. They are usually able to be saved. So I spent a bit on flowers because I just adore all of these gardens I see with flowers everywhere. I got home, with all of my plants and bags of miracle grow and pots etc... got about half of them planted and then began to wonder, "are these the kind that only bloom once?".
Way to go genius. We'll see next year I guess.
To that, I'm sure ANYONE in the Southern U.S. (and apparently Oregon too) is wondering why the hell I"m worried about flowers for NEXT year when it is ONLY almost August. Um...well, apparently the forecasters here jinxed themselves. They predicted it to get near 100F this coming month and...it is currently 55F outside. We've got highs in the mid 60's and lows in the 40's some nights. FORTIES?!?!?! That's like, awfully close to FREEZING people! It's AUGUST! That is like the most MISERABLE month of the year in Texas. I'm cold right now. So, you see, I do have cause to worry about my flowers that won't return next summer.
and to close:
It was always cute that my boys loved to mimic Footloose, you know the feet dancing in the beginning of it? Well, i put it on to show Steph and Shannon when they were here and holy hell. I have to watch it daily and replay that part 6 times and just shoot me now PLEASE, I had it on my ipod and the kids know that now. So tell me, what's worse? Shrill kid screaming in the car for Footloose or
With that... NO I don't have any photos to share yet! I'm too busy playing a continuous loop of Footloose in my brain while mooning the entirety of Lakenheath commissary thank you...
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